So I had this pretty intense conversation last night and I was told that I am living in denial. Also, this person told me that he knows me better than I do. So I couldnt stop myself from wondering if this saying is true. I went back home took a step back and think hard about this. Is this person saying this because he cares? Am i really that bad of a person? I mean I never meant anything bad or to hurt anyone, I am just protecting myself before I get hurt. Maybe my defense mechanism came off too strong that people think I am egoistic to another level. I mean I am just protecting myself because I learned my lessons in the past. Yes, people can change. I truly believe that because that is what I hope for when I encounter an asshole (but dont blame me for being defensive). I am just trying to protect myself. Being egoistic is for me to survive, there are times that I might be too egoistic at unrealistic times but I never meant anything bad for another party. Its always for me. I have been selfless a little too long and putting the wrong people ahead of myself and set them priority. I learned from my mistake and I wanna change and be a little selfish for myself and do whatever makes me happy first before others. Is that wrong? Apparently, its my way or no way at all attitude is what I have been portraying.
"Its only single minded conversation with you",
"you are responding but not replying",
These comments got me thinking hard about myself, am i really that bad of a person? I love to talk and if my conversation isnt open, then I might as well talk to myself and not others. As much as it effects me but I'll look into it and consider changing myself for the better. I am still trying to take this optimistically because I know the person who said it meant no harm and I appreciate it. At some point, you decide yourself whether you wanna be better or worst right?
